Something happened last year that shook me to my core. It made me questions everything about who I was, and I had never liked myself less. I had really lost my way, my sense of self and I felt stuck, I couldn’t find my way out. I wrote a bit about it on Instagram.
Under a cloud, I booked myself a spot on the Mindspo Self Love Retreat in Bali. I had a long wait, so I started the work myself, using essential oils to support my emotions, and half heartedly meditating.
Arriving at the Mindspo Mansion gave me heart eyes 😍. You may know that I’m used to roughing it and even our holidays are budget, adventure type. This mansion is in the most epic location, and gorgeously decorated!
For me, the theme of the week was ‘letting go’. Letting go of those stories, letting go of the hurt and letting go of the lies I was telling myself.
The incredible wealth of information poured into our souls from Rochelle Fox (@rochelle_fox) and Chris Soll (@chrissoll) is indescribable. Each day there was another thing, another activity, another workshop or ceremony to help with the letting go, the healing. We let go through ceremony, through fire, through water, through talking, hugs, tears and laughter.
On Letting Go day, guided by Rochelle, we answered questions until a rich tapestry had been woven. Stories from our hearts were down on paper. We cried together, we sought and gave advice, we hugged each other when their were no more words, and created a #mindspogirlsquad, a bond that can never be broken. That evening, in our burn ceremony we took responsibility for the stories we’d been holding on to and with that we burnt the shit out of them.
For me, the continuation of letting go and washing away was evident in our water activities. I questioned going into the water temple blessing. It wasn’t my religion, but the reason I was in Bali was to wash away and forgive myself. Each fountain I went under washed away tears from months, years of built up pressure on myself, all that time of so strongly disliking myself. As I came out from each fountain, I felt slightly lighter. I felt as though I was washing away my tough outer shell and finding myself.
Throughout all the letting go, I was honoured to be able to look into the eyes of 16 women and really see them. To have people you just met really see into your soul, we had a week long women’s circle, with soul sisters, so we could come together and share.
I can’t speak highly enough of this experience. It was exactly what I needed and more. A reminder to be my own cheerleader, speak to myself as I would my best friend, to be authentically myself, and rock it! I have now meditated every day since and have absolutely no intention of stopping.
For more information about Mindspo Retreats have a look at the website, I really can’t recommend them enough.