I realised something…

I realised something today that might sound crazy to you. I’m not an entrepreneur. I’m never going to make enough money from my blog to support my family, I think I’ve known this for a while, but what became so clear to me today was that I’m ok with that.

I’m not business minded. I really struggle to turn my ideas into reality and for the last few years, between mothering, blogging, wife-ing, friending, daughtering, sistering, self-ing, I’ve been flogging a dead horse. It’s honestly been like whacking my head against a brick wall. I don’t feel as though I’ve been working towards any of those titles with much success. I’ve been a little bit everywhere and wholey no where.

I mean sure this happened, and then this and this etc, but honestly (and I KNOW this sounds crazy) I didn’t feel proud. It felt as though it happened to me, like a wave. It didn’t feel like it was something that I had worked towards.

I’ve been making a little money, you know that. With my sourdough ebook, my Buy What You Need ebook and the sourdough workshops, and I’m not going to stop these. I’m also going to continue sharing affiliate links for things that I love. This money absolutely helps.

What I am going to stop, is stressing about getting three posts up a week (which, honestly I’ve been pretty terrible at really), writing the weekly newsletter (it may still happen, who knows) and there are some things I’m going to start doing too. I want to write about sustainable fashion, how all my wardrobe comes from the opshop, about fun things we get up to day to day. I’m going to write posts and then upload them immediately, instead of scheduling them for the ‘right’ day. I’m still going to share videos on YouTube (please subscribe if you haven’t already) because I LOVE making little videos. I’m going to keep sharing posts as I feel like writing them, and I can’t wait to share a more ‘un-official’ me.

‘Un-official’ because, as bloggers, we so often get told to pick a niche. You’ll make more money if you write about just one thing. But with excellent realisation, I can write about what ever the bloody hell I want.

I’m going to keep sharing beautiful styled photos, when I feel like it, on Instagram, because guess what, I like doing that!

Ok, so here’s some honesty for you. This realisation came after two BIG THINGS happened:

  1. I enrolled in a Bachelor of Food and Nutrition. This came after nearly a year of thinking about it and saying nothing to anyone, including Jay. Out of nowhere on Sunday morning I said to Jay, I think I need to go back to uni and by that afternoon I was enrolled. I love food, as you know, and I love people, as I hope you know. And I’m super excited to combine these two wile I spend the next three years studying my bum off.
  2. I was supremely jealous of a friend, who is kicking some major goals online. And instead of feeling happy for her, I felt jealous. This is not how I wanted to feel, I didn’t feel nice. Thankfully I had recently read this post,  and I was able to identify this feel as not so much jealousy but annoyed that I’m not doing them. But when I really thought about this, I’m not doing those things I dream of doing because I’m comparing myself to others online, and those are the things I think I SHOULD be doing. But really I want to spend time with my family and friends, watch some trashy TV and watch my son grow. My real priorities are different to those I think I SHOULD have.

So after all that, there will still be blog posts, with a much broader focus. You’ll get a greater picture of me as a whole. If you aren’t into that, I get it and am completely un-offended, all of our time is precious and I understand you need to spend yours in the ways that are best for you.

I will 100% still be sharing photos on Instagram, you’ll probably still catch me on Facebook and YouTube too.

Mostly, I just feel relieved. I’m so relieved that I don’t have to have this pressure weighing me down anymore. And I thank you for coming along for the ride.

 

65 thoughts on “I realised something…

  1. I used to have a blog and then one day I realised that the pressure of doing regular updates etc was just too much. These days I love instagram and the community that I have discovered there who have similar food, garden, lifestyle and ethical goals and I find it a lot more relaxing and enjoyable.
    I know a lot of people put up staged and wonderful photos of food and gardens etc on instagram, but I discovered you don’t have to do that to still feel like you are sharing your proud and happy moments with others.
    I live alone and so I like sharing and having this interaction with people, but I also need it on my terms in a way that I feel good about w/out the pressure 🙂

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    1. i think it is your story of managing a difficult situation was an encouragement for people who are finding life hard that was the important part that endeared you to us all

      Just a note occasionally would continue to help people

      If you are feeling stressed listen to your body

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  2. Such a beautifully honest post Clare and I agree with many of your sentiments – I made some similar realisations upon taking some time away from blogging and posting whilst finishing my Masters. Excited for your new adventures and I love op shops so looking forward to those posts…though love love your insta stories as well xxx

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  3. I love real blogs that share real lives so i say go for it. Im really interested in your op shop wardrobe ao i think that sounds fab.
    Cheers kate

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  4. Clare,
    I’m probably a good 10 – 15 years older then you, I’ve written newsletters, have numerous Facebook pages, have had the career, well several. And at the age of 40 had a massive breakdown, fell to pieces, had to leave the job that was paying the bills and start again. Ecconomicly, socially, as a mother, as a wife and career wise. Luckily it wasn’t quite too late but I never want to do that again, Do what ever you need to do to look after your self, don’t let pressure ever affect your family or your mental health. Dead lines are imaginary, most pressure that you feel will be put on you by yourself and who you think you need to be. Make time just be…..still.

    Your little blog, who I was introduced to by my sister, who did a blogging course with you, was one of the things that brought me back to being me. It helped me financially, it helped me find my place in my home again after absent mindedly being a money earner for what I thought was the right reasons for too many years, it helped me find value in the things that I truly believe in that we’re lost when I became filled with deadlines and other people’s priorities.

    Working on line can be filled with ego driven yearnings, it’s human nature. As can any income earner if you are committed to it. I am so glad to hear that your are changing paths a little. Your man and Bub will never look back.

    You are young, you know intrinsically what is important to you, and you are working toward that. So that is inspiration to all who follow you. Whether you post a million more times or never again, you have made a difference.

    Congrats on enrolling in your new course. And wishing you every bit of luck not matter what you do.

    Angela x

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    1. Angela, your comment made me cry. What a journey you have been on, thank you for sharing it with me. I love that you say deadlines are imaginary. It’s so true!
      Your words about my blog are too kind. I’m so honoured to have been able to make a tiny impact on your life.
      Thank you, already I know that I have made the right choices, I feel a weight that has been lifted.

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  5. So, finally read the full post and so happy for you. If you have time and haven’t already done so have a read of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic. She talks about exactly that, and I reckon the real you at your pace will find your audience. I can’t wait to watch your study journey (hint hint lol) as i would have loved to study that.Enjoy your new journey and thank you so much for the reading and recipes xx

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  6. Good for you Clare! I must admit I had the same realisation a few months ago. I just had this moment of ‘why am I stressing myself out, literally going crazy trying to do it all and work on the blog when it’s detracting from my life.’ I was working to what people said you ‘should’ do as a blogger and not to what I wanted to do. Now I post when I feel like it, email when I feel I have something valuable to share and work on things I really want to work on and it has been a game changer.

    Well done enrolling in the course! Would you believe I have had the same thought for months and months and haven’t mentioned it to anyone either. Maybe one day! Anyway… well done!!

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    1. I think our kids are so young for such a short period of time. The should’s of a blogger are so killer aren’t they! I remember you enrolled in a certificate of nutrition, how did that go? It took me so long before I mentioned it, and then all of a sudden it was woe-to-go. Keep it in the bank until the time is right. And I’ll let you know how this one is 🙂

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  7. Good on you! It’s such a balancing act as it is, all the stuff we do as parents, as partners, as frugal/ from scratch/ earth loving people… that adding pressure from something that isn’t your truest dream to do, that is a burden you don’t need. The study will hopefully be awesome (one day I want to study alternative nutrition) & just the time with your family, with yourself, without social media schedules, will be pretty lovely I would say!

    After blogging for five years (several years ago now) I just had to stop because the stuff I was blogging about, well, that stuff actually took lots of time and energy!!

    Good luck!

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    1. It’s crazy that those of us who blog about simple living, in fact, make our lives less simple by doing so. I’m very excited for the study and I too hope to figure out a way of adding some alternative methods into the study. I think the time is going to be wonderful and I am really looking forward to it.

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  8. I love this Clare. I think it’s good to know yourself. It’s one of the reasons I stopped blogging too.
    I’ll still be here, reading whatever you write, whether its weekly or monthly 🙂

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  9. My personal blog will never hace a niche, because I don’t believe humans have one. You sound so “right” with where you are & I’m so confident you’ll kick ass. Honestly, I had missed your slightly more personal posts. You’re a great cook & photographer but it did feel a little like you were hiding at times. Can’t wait to see where you go!

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    1. You’re absolutely right that humans shouldn’t have a niche. Everything really does feel right at the moment, and thank you for your honesty about me hiding. I have been feeling like I was hiding a bit.

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  10. That sounds great Clare. I’m having much more fun with my blog once I decided that I could just write about whatever I wanted to instead of picking my niche. Kind of like the way blogs used to be when they were online journals and you’d just write about whatever you wanted to that day.

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  11. Dear Clare, I am much older than you, much older in fact, had the kids, now with grandkids and with the ailing 96 year old mother – the full bit, but I have so enjoyed your blogs. Loved them for their honesty and glimpses of your busy ‘young’ life. In fact, I was hooked on so many blogs over the years, but kept yours after unsubscribing to the others as I so appreciated what you were doing, your talent, your passion for your environment, your style of writing and photography and of course your recipes and your freshness. I will miss all that Clare. But I wish you well with your new study and making choices while you can. Thank you!
    Good on you Clare! I am excited for what lies ahead for you and your life….

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  12. I feel so excited for you reading this Clare. You sound very clear about where you are heading and what you want to do and that is magical. Your course sound like a perfect fit for you. I hope you love it. I am sure that having the pressure removed from the expectations you felt will bring you peace and happiness and more time to enjoy time with your beautiful little boy.

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    1. Thanks so much Kyrstie. It’s been such a massive couple of weeks. With all the media I felt like I had to roll with it, but it just feel disingenuous. This feels much better and I’m so excited to take my blog back to more of an online journal with pretty photos.

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  13. Bravo Claire! not just for acknowledging your feelings but for sharing them too…you are such a generous and creative spirit you will continue to inspire others wherever your journey takes you; and that doesn’t have to be on a Wednesday or a Friday or any other day, I’m always pleased to see one of your posts in my inbox! I look forward to following your adventures wherever they may take you…

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  14. Congrats on your epiphany and finding your true self. It seems many of us place more pressure on ourselves than the pressure others place on us. I always thought I would try to grow my blog more, have two posts a week and earn a little money at it. I gave up a while ago, if I don’t have anything to post I don’t feel guilty about it. I have three boys and watching them grow is far more exciting than obsessing about what will photograph well and interest a larger audience. I do things on my terms and feel less stress. I may still try to grow the blog one day but it isn’t a priority right now. You’re young and have a whole new direction now. Good luck with your studies and following your heart.

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  15. I love this post!!!!
    When we realise and embrace who we are, don’t we feel freer all of a sudden??
    Niches and scheduling. Reach. Branding.
    Phooey!!
    There’s such a load of codswallop around blogging and “making it” – it’s so good to break free of should and live the life you want to live.
    I’ll be sticking around for more of the real life of Clare.
    Congratulations lady!

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  16. Go, you! I am so rarely online these days, which used to be a big driver for my practice, as my priorities and work style has changed. It took me a while to get past the guilt of what I felt I ‘should’ be doing and, like you, connect with what I actually want to be doing… which, in fact, serves me better. Great job on enrolling in the nutrition degree, it’ll be fantastic, and seems a perfect fit with your current skills and passion. Awesome 🙂 x

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  17. Well done Clare. A beautiful revelation for you.
    It’s never a wise thing for us to compare ourselves with others.
    God made us all uniquely. No two people are the same.
    We often look at others’ good traits or circumstances and compare them to our lack in these areas. It makes no sense.
    I admire your courage and honesty to share your change of heart and actions.
    Have a blessed and peaceful day
    Deb Dunt

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    1. Thanks so much Deb. You’re right about the comparison and I was doing a lot of it. What I should be posting, sharing, photographing, even where I should be eating! It was bloody exhausting.

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  18. Good on you Clare, it’s harder than we think to give ourselves a break! Everyday I think how I can better everything instead of sitting back & enjoying what’s happening right now. So exciting, sounds like you are in a fantastic place at the moment x

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    1. Thanks so much Hayley. God it’s been such a relief. For the first time in nearly 3 years I sat outside in the sun and didn’t feel guilty about it. I wasn’t thinking I should write this, photograph that, cook that etc. God! I’m in a much better place.

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  19. Good for you Clare.I too often feel like I’m wallowing in amisery of what I SHOULD be doing according to everyone else as opposed to what I,Maria would really love to do.Needless to say,Im breaking those barriers and I am more happy for it.
    Cheers to you.

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  20. Well done, Clare, for finding this out before it becomes impossible to leave. I had an all consuming, stressful business that I loved when my kids were small, and my biggest regret is not fully living those precious years with them. I had a complete breakdown with the pressure of it all some years ago, and like you, had an epiphany. I try to keep up with blogging now, but always take a bit if a step back when it becomes too much. Older and wiser. You’ll find your way through. Best of luck with your new direction. So exciting for you!

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  21. So this was awesome. I have been researching, and reading- for about a year. So many posts about finding your niche. My kids (grown/mostly adulting) were supportive and finally I did the hosting, the domain name etc… then I froze again. Beating myself up because well, no niche picking done! I just recently posted an article, and I liked it! Working on a couple more, but not pushing myself to post on this schedule or that timeframe- and writing about different things! Glad you found what you want to do, and in your own way!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I think one of the things that I realised was that not every person who blogs can be a full-time paid blogger, and for those of us who can’t be that, why should be have to pick a niche? Write what ever you want and it’ll make you so much happier.

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  22. Look at a all of these people who care about what you do. That is so lovely to see. Do what makes you happy. How short is life? Too short? How long are our babies this title? Not long enough. You have the right idea. you’ll be able to look back on 2016 as when all of these crazy things happened, and you worked out what you truly wanted to be doing out of it all. So happy for you x

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  23. Claire, this was a lovely and honest blog and I thank you for it. As someone who has journeyed through motherhood I can tell you that Elliot will be at school before you know it so enjoy him. The children change when they go to school; right now he is all yours and even though it can be difficult at times these days are precious. I know you know this. I can also tell you as someone who has been wealthy and then…not , money can be a snare that we think will make us happy only to find ourselves lacking. enjoy what you have and use your blog as you see fit rather than a means of income generation. You have many ‘followers’ that enjoy what you do so enjoy that. And I would be keen to participate in a sourdough workshop when you can do a gluten-free one. Or even grain free? Would that even work??? Love your instagram page too. Have fun xxx.

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    1. Thank you so much for this lovely comment. I’ve been having so much fun playing with Elliot without rushing around trying to do all of these things. I wish I could do grain free sourdough, but I have seen it around.

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  24. You will never regret going back to study. I went back to do my Masters and muddled through with a 3 year old and a baby (including falling asleep in lectures because of broken sleep). For a time it was the bane of my life, but mostly I loved it, and got so much out of it. And now I have the qualification, no one can take that away. I think also find that you’ll enjoy your blog so much more without the pressure of posting to self-imposed deadlines and writing about things that you are drawn to. Well done. xx

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    1. I’m already enjoying it so much more now that I’m not comparing myself (so much) to others (it takes a little while to get out of the habit). Thank you for sharing your story about study, you’re right. How wonderful it’ll be to have that qualification.

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  25. I think this is great! Just taking the pressure off is such a good thing to do. Plus I want to know about all that other stuff too!!! Yes!!! Do things in your own time I say and bugger the pressure! Awesome -)

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  26. Well done Clare, we are always the hardest on ourselves, aren’t we? But you know what? you will be a better everything when you aren’t stressing so much about things that really aren’t that important. Congratulations on enrolling in your degree, you’ll love it!
    Fi

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  27. Good on you Clare. I’ve only recently found your blog and I think its great! Your degree sounds unreal too. I look forward to hearing more about it over the years as it is something that interests me too.
    I fall into point number 2- I too am struggling with jealousy at the minute and being bitter about someone else’s good fortune. You are right, its a horrible feeling, although as much as I wish I could, I don’t know how to turn it off and be happy for them.
    I’m so pleased you were able to make the changes that needed to happen for yourself and your family.

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the tie to comment Lauren, it really does mean the world to me. Jealousy is a killer isn’t it! But it’s so hard to just ignore that feeling, good on you for acknowledging it!

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  28. I can totally relate to this Clare- whenever I get caught up in analytics, marketing & strategy I start to feel icky and more like a machine. With my blog the most personal posts always seem to resonate more with my audience (who are mostly friends of friends and family members).

    Sometimes, when I catch myself worrying about the business end of things I stop, take a step back and remember (much like you) that there is more to life than a blog. And this whole ‘niche’ idea- that’s great for some but that is definitely not who I am as a person. My blog and Instagram are a mixed bag, maybe it’s hard to dicipher what I’m ‘selling’ with one quick look but that’s me.

    Can’t wait to hear more about CLARE when you feel like sharing. ❤ I already know you're rad.

    I'm so excited for you about school! I think you'll be awesome. Good for you for digging futher into your passion. Good luck!

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