Vanilla Ice Cream and a D&M

This post is deep, if you’re just here for the ice cream recipe, that’s cool, just scroll on down. If your here for the ice cream AND the D&M, then read on.creamy vanilla ice cream A few days ago we drove into Geelong. We were going to buy our first ever brand new couch, I’m on a little interior design kick, and we stopped at the lights behind a big ute. J started reading out the stickers and with concern, noted that the driver was a P-plater, “this is the future of our country,” he said. The stickers went something like this We Drink Rum, We Eat Steak And We Speak Fucking English and Fit In Or Fuck Off. Both J and I were shocked that there were still people willing to stick these kinds of stickers on their cars. Horrified, we sat in silence, until I thought, and said out loud, “if we are being intolerant of intolerance, doesn’t that make us just as bad. I mean, we’re all about freedom of speech, but we want everyone to have our opinion.” Again, silence blanketed the car.vanilla ice cream Then that night while sitting and watching TV, I was perusing Facebook, as you do, and I came across a heated discussion. The discussion was based around the beautiful rainbow profile pictures, that over 26 million Facebook users have changed their profile pictures too, and one bloggers’ post about why she won’t be doing it.

The blogger at the center of the discussion is Christian, and has strong views about gay marriage. I read her post and felt sick to my stomach, but I wanted to keep my opinion to myself. Sadly, I couldn’t. The discussion continued today, with the blogger asking other people to take their personal Facebook statuses down. Statuses that neither named, nor shamed anyone, but instead were wonderfully inclusive and caring.

This is what got me, and where I struggled to keep my mouth shut. However, this post I’m sharing now is not about her. What I want to share, what I’m struggling to get my head around is, my being intolerant of intolerance. I think everyone is allowed their opinion, freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, but what I’m finding difficult is hearing people’s opinions that I find to be archaic and bigoted.vanilla icecreamFor the record my beliefs are as such, I support HAPPINESS! I feel like this is pretty simple, if you’re made happy by marriage (same sex or heterosexual), then YES! Go forth and be happy! I’m pro-inclusion, pro-free speech, pro-choice, pro-fruitarian/vegetarian/vegan etc, pro-appearance diversity, pro-racial diversity, I just wish everyone was. Progressive inclusive views around race and sexuality are now the social norm, I’m surprised when people haven’t moved with the times and it’s evident that we are very aware of the impacts of discrimination.

How am I any better than the original P-plater I talked about? How can I be pro-free speech, when really what I’m saying is that I want everyone’s free speech to be the same as mine. I honestly believe that everyone can have their own opinion, but I’m sad that not everyone’s is inclusive. If we were all truly tolerant, then everyone could have their opinion without fear of backlash, but I’m just not this tolerant. I don’t know, my head is spinning, I don’t have the answers, do you?

Vanilla Ice Cream
Author: Clare Reilly
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
  • 2 cups full cream milk
  • 2 vanilla beans split
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 8 egg yolks
  • 300 ml thickened cream
  1. Heat the milk and vanilla in a heavy based saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat before boiling and cool to room temperature.
  2. Put sugar and egg yolks in a bowl and whisk together until pale and thick, continue to whisk while gradually adding the milk mixture until incorporated (this step can also be done in a mix master).
  3. Strain mixture into clean heavy based saucepan, place on low heat and stir consistently until mixture coats back of the spoon.
  4. Place in the fridge for 1 hour.
  5. While mixture is in the fridge, whip cream until soft peaks form, then fold the cream into the custard mixture.
  6. Churn in ice cream machine, then freeze until ready to serve.


20 thoughts on “Vanilla Ice Cream and a D&M

  1. Hi Clare, I’ve recently discovered your lovely blog.

    This post couldn’t have come on a better day. I spent this morning getting so frustrated at the SMALLNESS of people’s attitudes on FB, and then wondering about the smallness of my own self in spending so much time stewing about it! I often weigh up whether to wade in or let things go.

    I don’t have answers but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this kind of thing lately and these are my thoughts:

    People are welcome to have all the opinions in the world about things that only affect their own lives. But the problem is most of the views we’re talking about are really about hating or fearing others, or at the very least policing other people’s behaviour even when that behaviour does no one else any harm.

    I think there’s a big difference between being pro free speech and standing by while others are made to feel as if their lives matter less. All freedom is not equal. Which is more important – someone being able to express an opinion without challenge or someone being able to live their lives without being excluded or vilified, even just on FB?

    Finally, as a local Geelong mother, be assured there are plenty of brilliantly tolerant, inclusive young people around to balance out the P-plater with the stickers. One of them is my kid and when I see him and his friends I am excited for the future 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I think you’re right about people having opinions that only concern their lives, but then, what right does that give me for having a view on gay marriage at all. It is all very confusing.

  2. Ack! My comment got eaten. I’ll try to remember what I was saying…

    The whole incident the other day really rocked me, and I don’t think I’ve processed it all yet. The post saddened me, the effect it had on others saddened me, and the response to it was just awful too. So much hate thrown back at her, but what’s the point of that? An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, right? Anyway…

    So, I was thinking maybe (and bear with with me, because I haven’t thought this through, it’s just something that came to mind as I was reading your post, but) maybe you’re not actually for free speech? (Stay with me!) We say we’re for it, and we theoretically want to be for it, but what we mean is that we’re for *kind* speech. Diverse speech, but not hateful speech. (Although then I suppose it gets messy with what constitutes hate speech, because even though we think we agree on that, the adges can get fuzzy…)

    Sorry, I defnitely don’t have an answer for you either! What I would say though, is that I think it perfectly fine (actually necessary) to be intolerant of some things: littering, bigotry, homophobia, animal cruelty… and so on. It’s a-ok to be intolerant. I don’t think you being intolerant of hate is the same thing as not supporting free speech (or whatever we mean by that!)

    1. Sorry you’re comment got eaten. It was a really big blow up wasn’t it. The response to her was just awful, but I can’t see how she wasn’t expecting it. I think you’re right about me not being 100% for free speech. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  3. A very thoughtful post Claire. I’m afraid I don’t have any answers either. I’ve discussed this issue of free speech vs hate speech (and relativity versus intolerance) at length in academic and casual settings, and am still no closer to articulating a definitive opinion.
    I love that you included ice cream in this 🙂

  4. Hi Clare, this is such a thoughtful post and very much worth thinking about. My stance in life is very much in line with yours – believe and do whatever makes you happy, but I also believe that you can’t do that if it hurts another person. I think intolerance is a negative thing, but I think intolerance of intolerance can create a positive, much like two negatives making a positive in science. I think those of us that do stand up against intolerance are fighting for the right for everyone to feel safe in their own life choice. We aren’t trying to say to the intolerant person that they can’t lead the life they want to, we are simply saying that they shouldn’t try to force their choice on others or denigrate others that don’t follow the same way of life. In fact, we aren’t really intolerant of the person and their life at all, we are simply intolerance of their intolerance, which I do think is okay and very much needed in a world that seems so full of hate and exclusion and bigotry. Thank you by the way for a wonder ice-cream recipe too. xx

    1. Thank you Sarah. I think keeping other people in mind is so important. Thank you for taking the time to comment with such an insightful response.

  5. The issue to which you briefly refer is actually not as clean cut as you write it. I saw that fight. I thought the person in the centre of it deserved what she copped. What she did in that group should have gotten her kicked out and if I had been the moderator she would have been out on her vitriolic ass as soon as she’d posted. As it is, she left. And I think this is a good thing. Why? Because it’s one thing to be anti gay marriage. That’s fine. I accept and support that people have that view. But what you failed to mention was that this person, be she Christian or not (because, in essence, that doesn’t really matter), was spewing hate in her message. She then engaged in manipulation to make her look like the victim. That’s not an opinion. That’s an attack. And the two are not the same.

    The very definition of tolerance is to endure another person’s beliefs when you do not share them. As vile as you think they are, to others they may not be. And just because you find something archaic and bigoted, doesn’t mean it is. And I find a lot of people today cannot really deal with that. From what I see (and what I did see the other night) on Facebook with issues like this is that the pro gay marriage front feel they are right and god help you (no pun intended) if you dare to speak out otherwise. That’s not tolerance. That’s oppression.

    I find the whole rainbow profile thing on Facebook quite offensive. It homogenises and downplays a very serious issue and turns people into mindless sheep. However, a sticker that says “Fit in or fuck off” is not offensive to me. Personally, I happen to agree with it for my own personal reasons. Many do come here, flout our laws and gain concessions over others who are just as deserving which, in my view, they have no right to. My occupation has given me this insight and it is from this where such a belief has stemmed. If you walked in my shoes, perhaps you’d feel this way too. Who knows? But the thing is, you haven’t just as you haven’t worn the P Plater’s shoes or the Hating Christian’s shoes.

    So really, do you have the right to trash those whose views you find revolting?

    1. I too saw the fight Leah. I don’t know if I agree that she got what she deserved, but on that we will have to agree to disagree. I don’t think anyone deserves to be treated the way she treated, nor the way she was treated. But I also don’t think she had any right to ask what she did of that group that she has now left. I too think it’s a good thing that she has left the group, because she caused it to no longer feel a safe place for many of the members. I also agree with you that everyone is allowed their opinion, throughout this post, I merely talked of my intolerance toward them. But I also agree with you about being oppressed when not being able to have your opinions heard. This post, was in fact asking the question that you finished your comment with. I don’t think that I have any right to trash anyone else’s views, but sometimes I find it difficult not to.

  6. I have no answers but I think it’s a feeling many struggle with, me included.

    I’ve met the blogger you are talking about & she’s lovely but her views in that post are very jarring. I too find it hard when I see/hear that people still think that way. It’s hard to accept but I do accept that people can think & feel however they please, that my views are not for everyone & that at times I’ll have to agree to disagree then walk away before I lose my mind trying to convince someone that MY way of thinking is the right way.

    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment Reannon. I’m sure the blogger in question is lovely. Her views didn’t surprise me, as I knew that these were her beliefs. What I was surprised by was that she posted them online, where everyone is allowed their opinion and expected no backlash. I too think that everyone is allowed their opinion, but like you say, I often have to walk away before jamming my opinion down their throat.

  7. i suppose that the thing is that we don’t have to be tolerant of views that espouse hatred and discrimination. We can still support free speech, and that everyone has the right to have an opinion, but your opinions and mine don’t discriminate or hurt.
    Your ice cream looks too delicious. I must not look 🙂

  8. These thoughts have been circling my mind as well. But you know what we actually don’t value free speech above all else. We have laws against defamation, harassment and discrimination and we don’t have carte Blanche to say what we want wherever we want. Hate speech is always going to breed more hatred – from both sides of an argument.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: