I Don’t Want To…

I love living the life we do.  I love knowing where our food comes from and what goes into it.  But for the first time, this week I found myself saying to J, “I know this is the life we’ve chosen to live, but I just don’t want to bake bread right now.”

What I really wanted to to plant my arse firmly on the couch and watch Revenge.  I wanted the days to have more hours, but only so that I could fill them with the mundane, watching movies mostly.

But instead, I turned the dough out onto the bench, and shaped it while waiting for the oven to heat up.  Then at 20 minute intervals, I got up and changed the oven temperature according to Celia’s recipe, and after about an hour there were two freshly baked round sourdough loaves cooling.

It wasn’t hard, it’s wasn’t even that time consuming and it was a wonderful result, but at the time I was dreading it.

Do you ever have this in your life?  Have something that you usually love, that you know will result in a positive outcome but you just can’t be bothered doing it?

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20 Comments

  1. Honey, you’re pregnant. You’re meant to sit on your arse and watch television. 🙂

    And yes, I sometimes don’t want to either. Sometimes, the starter is ready, and it’s 10pm and I want to go to bed, but Small Man needs rolls for school, so I make the dough (3 minutes) and leave it on the bench. I KNOW it only takes a few minutes, and I don’t even bother with kneading it sometimes, I just squish it all together, but even then, it can sometimes feel like a chore.

    But I know that I don’t have to pack a lunch for Small Man ever – he just goes and pulls a roll out of the freezer every morning, so I’m always grateful at 7am when that happens! 🙂

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    1. Yes, I know I’m supposed to sit on the couch but I’m just not very good at it. I’ve stopped kneading mostly, but yes sometimes it’s the last thing you feel like doing. It is always great, like you say, to have bread baked in the morning.

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  2. What’s wrong with us when we don’t give ourselves permission to “don’t want to”. My husband can do it with ease but I get this sense of responsibility and I hear my mother in the back of my head telling me not to be lazy. I want to give you a hug and tell you to go sit down. Your bread making mojo will return but when you don’t want to… don’t. Then tell us and we’ll all cheer.

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    1. I think in this case, it was more that the bread dough was sitting there, staring at me! Thanks Maureen, what a lovely comment!

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    1. My problem is that I can’t justify the cost of buying a loaf, I know they’re not very expensive, but making it is so much cheaper. And, yeasted bread makes me feel sick, so I’d never be able to eat more than a couple of slices. I’m just glad that J enjoys making it too.

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    1. Oh man, I wish we had a dish washer! Dishes are my house work pet hate! We also bought a drier, but I’m yet to use it, I also hate hanging out the washing!

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  3. Good on you for doing what you don’t feel like doing. So many others would have just sat on the couch in front of the TV and got up in the morning and gone out and bought a loaf of sliced white bread. You’re making the right choices xx

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    1. Thanks Charlie. Yeasted bread makes me feel sick and I know our local bakery only makes sourdough on the weekends, and even then, you’re lucky to get a loaf.

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  4. We all get that feeling. But you are going to get it more often, particularly when the baby is born. I think we need to be kind to ourselves sometimes and whilst we strive to achieve a certain lifestyle, sometimes things get thrown in our way which means we can’t. So we have to give ourselves permission to compromise. Just find a compromise that you feel really happy with. I have a baker near me that I will happily buy sourdough from if I can’t be bothered or don’t have time to bake. It is true sourdough and I am happy with the quality of the bread. Sure, it’s better when I bake myself but life doesn’t always work out like that. Just make sure you don’t beat yourself up over it.

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    1. Tania, it’s so tough isn’t it! I’m definitely not beating myself up over it, but sometimes it’d be nice to have made a choice to live a different lifestyle, but only very rarely do I think that.

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  5. Hehe I have this massive sense of guilt and obligation. I’m not sure why but I find it difficult to sit down and do that but I really wish I could! It’s really a problem 😦 However I did put off making another batch of home made mustard and it takes such a short time! 😛

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  6. This is how I feel about most housework :p I am not a person who likes cleaning, though I love the good feeling I get from looking at the finished product when it’s done.
    It’s all about motivation and goals, I guess!

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    1. I love that Sarah, motivation and goals! I don’t mind cleaning the house, but like you, I love the finished product.

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